This Is Complete Indulgence - A Brain Fart For The World To Read

You've been warned........

I'm beginning to understand the whole concept of writers block. I've been sitting here starring at the screen for a couple of hours. Nothing is coming to mind. Do I have anything to say today? 

It's been like this before. I don't know if I've ever mentioned on it the blog, but WhiteTrash BBQ isn't my first blog; it's probably my fifth. Back in the day when blogging was new and there were very few people spewing thoughts out across the net, I decided that I was going to blog about, something. I didn't know what I was going to write about, but I was going to write about something. Looking back - it was really a naive decision. I'm not a writer, I've never aspired to be a writer. Why the hell would I take up blogging? Oh, the ego of it all. 

After a few miserable attempts at finding that something, that blog died. 

A couple of months go by and I tried again. My second, third, and fourth blogs, all had no focus, so I couldn't find any cohesive theme to write about. They all died out long before they established any sort of readership. So, finally I came up with the concept of writing about my life in the competition barbecue circuit.

It was a new adventure for me. I was like a kid who just discovered his penis. I wanted to cook and play with the fire all the time. For a long while, barbecue was all I could think of. It was like an addiction.  Stepping into the competition game opened a whole new world for me.  I met some great people. I met some not so great people. Friendships came, some lasted, others burned bright and died out quickly. 

I discovered that the competition barbecue circuit is an amazingly expensive game. On average, I would say that it costs about $1,000 per contest to compete. On top of that, you need to add in the cost of your equipment. Right now I have about 8 different smokers and grills in my yard, garage, and stored at friend's homes. The you need canopies, lights, chairs, tables, sinks, coolers and all the other stuff required to live outdoors for a couple of days.  Add to that the various thermometers, utensils, cutting boards, storage cases, gloves, fire extinguishers and other miscellaneous equipment and it really adds.up. This is not a poor man's hobby.

And guess what? I'm a poor man. So, I've never really been able to indulge in the contest lifestyle as I would like to. So I looked around for other ways to keep my hand in the game. I setup up Grillin' On The Bay. I judged events. I reviewed restaurants. I met and worked with the various barbecue chefs and cooks of New York City and the surrounding areas. I worked to keep the dream alive. 

But as you all have noticed, the dream is barely breathing right now. The flame is still there, but it's not a roaring fire. It's not even close. So much has changed since that day back in 2004 when I started this. I struggle with how I'm going to take this blog. A while back I registered WhiteTrashBarbecue.com. It was/is going to be the new home for this blog and I wonder what that incarnation will be. 

Can I make money from the blog? Should WhiteTrash Barbecue be strictly a website about barbecue, leaving out all my personal thoughts and experiences? Or does the web already have enough sites like that? Would a post like this one be appropriate in White Trash's new home? Do I want to commit to only a "commercial" site instead of a "personal" blog like this? I know there's no way in hell I'd maintain both. Right now I can't even maintain one. 

I feel badly that I've neglected this blog so long. I hope there's still readers out there.